The Curse of Pinterest.

There are all kinds of moms out there: moms who stay at home, moms who work, moms who go to school, moms who work from home, moms who also are 'dad'... You get it. And all of them are wonderful.

Once upon a time, being a mother was enough. And then came Facebook. And Pinterest. And all of a sudden being a mom isn't good enough unless your child has had sewn coordinating outfits, cute designs out of nutritious food laid out on a plate for each meal, flawless hair, fluent in five languages (that you, the mother, taught yourself), and exceptional developmental skills. And that's just with ONE child. As for you,you never turn on the TV, the house is spotless, meals are on time and never burnt, you are crafty, you exercise, you have clean cute clothes, you can do anything yourself. You are crafty, creative, kind, smart, patient, an expert in home decor and organizing, the list could go on and on and on. But let's get real here. This is reality for most of us.

On Facebook, I often see long posts that talk about how a mom painted the house, mowed the lawn, tutored all 15 children, has dinner in the oven, grocery shopped, shaved her legs, and worked out. All before 9 AM. And that used to make me feel bad about myself.

I think as women, we tend to judge. Not only that, but we judge ourselves on an extreme level. We nitpick and don't give credit where credit is due. It's hard enough being 'just a mom' in a world where women are encouraged to graduate, have a career, see the world, and enjoy their bodies before starting families. Like this clip:

 To clarify, Mormons are not taught to have as many children as possible. And since when is having children a bad thing?!

And that's a little sad to me. I'm turning 23 this month and have two daughters. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked if they were accidents, why I got married so young and had kids, what I would rather be doing, or if I'm happy with this life.

I am exhausted. I'm tired, Sometimes I get frustrated, but I love families. I wouldn't trade this in for anything in the world. This weekend, Aoife was sick. Outrageously sick, I was covered in vomit. In my hair, my skin, my clothes, carpet, couch, you name it, she hit it. And all Aoife wanted was to cuddle and be held. So I sat there in the middle of the night holding that sweet girl stinky, uncomfortable, and watched Thumbelina. I hate when my kids are sick. I feel so badly for them. But those are the sweetest moments. They cuddle and snuggle and for a few hours, mom is cooler than almost as cool as dad.

There was something circulating called 'Dear Mom on the iPhone". If you haven't seen it, here's the gist:

“Dear Mom on the iPhone…Your little girl is spinning round and round, making her dress twirl. She is such a little beauty queen already, the sun shining behind her long hair. She keeps glancing your way to see if you are watching her.
You aren’t.
Your little boy keeps shouting, ‘Mom, MOM watch this!’ I see you acknowledge him, barely glancing his way.
He sees that too. His shoulders slump, but only for a moment, as he finds the next cool thing to do.”

But here's what you don't know. That little girl spinning around and around has probably been going at 100 miles per hour since 5:30 AM. That little boy shouting MOM, may or may not be shouting MOM all hours of the day. Heaven forbid that mother check her Facebook or look at Instagram for a few minutes. That might be the only social interaction she gets. That mother probably sings the ABC's ten million times a day, reads her child's favorite story over and over, and plays Hide and Seek. What that mother probably doesn't do is take some time for herself.

Of course playing with your children is important. The negative, guilt tripping articles don't encourage good parenting. I honestly believe that parents do their absolute best. Someone's best may not be the same as your best. We need to be supportive and encouraging instead of quickly passing judgement.

When Claire was younger, we were at Costco. We were in line waiting to check out. This was when the sleepless nights were the usual. She was fussing and screaming and I stood there pushing the full cart back and forth trying to entertain her. Amid the glares and stares and the unspoken "Please shut that child up" an old man came up to me, grabbed my arm in a gentle way and told me what a good job I was doing and that I had the greatest job ever. That this was the hardest job on the planet, but that it was the best. I'll never forget that. Imagine what the world could be like if we took the time to give encouraging compliments to complete strangers who so obviously need encouragement. 

For the mother that will only dress her baby in Baby Gap, you are awesome. The mother that can plan preschool lessons with snacks and activities to match the week's theme: You are amazing! The moms who are running on fumes and popping open a Diet Coke before 8 AM: You're doing a great job. Hang in there. Being a mom is hard. With Pinterst teaching us how to 'Clean your house like a PRO!", Cook delicious gourmet healthy meals, and teach our children Latin in 5 days or less, sometimes we get caught up and forget that we are human. More often than not, I have fruit loops ground into my carpet, laundry piled up, and last night's dinner dishes in the sink.

But, if I spent that time scrubbing away, instead of watching Claire's new favorite show with her, I might have missed out on this:

Moms, you are amazing. Whether you work, stay home, go to school, or are doing this solo: I am amazed by all that you do. I am grateful for all of you and the examples you set for me. It is hard. No one can sum this up better than Elder Holland.

Pixie Part 2.

I've been sporting my short hair for a while now. (Like what? A week and a half?) So here's what's up.

At school we had a student appreciation day where we got to work on each other and just hang out. Two of my trusty classmates helped me lighten it to take out the gold/yellow locks, so now it's back to a pretty blonde color. Perfect for summer. My teacher also helped thin and texturize it. I have enough hair for an army, so the original cut wasn't quite working. It's SO much better!

But here's the thing. I'm still learning. I don't know a ton about short hair, so I've been playing and trying to do something different with it each day.

Sometimes, especially in the morning when it's all fluffy, I feel like I look like this.

Sometimes, I'll play with my make up and attempt a cat eye. And then I feel like I look like a cat. Or kind of like Madam Hooch. (And she looks like a cat, too.)

And then sometimes, I try to style it edgy and spiky. But honestly, I come out looking like a pokemon character.

And once in a blue moon, I'll have a good hair day, but make stupid faces.

I'm so grateful for everyone who's told me it looks good and that they like it rather than meow or chirp at me.

It's a trendy, fun cut, but let's get real here. I'm a mom. I shop at Old Navy, wear sneakers, and am window shopping online for minivans. So the cut is a good thing. I do feel super trendy with it.

Sometimes, I'll go to put my hair in a ponytail, like when I'm doing dishes, only to find that I don't have any hair TO put up. It's pretty weird. It's been fun to mess around with, and I'm learning about what different products do. (Which is dangerous. I was already a product junkie!) Overall, I'm still don't regret it.

Work It Out.

This move has not been kind to my body. I was thrown completely off schedule, resorted to comfort food, and now weigh the most I have since Aoife was born. A few weeks ago, I took some measurements and they're actually almost exactly the same as right after Aoife was born, except I weigh a tad more. Talk about depressing.

I'm usually a night time work out kind of gal, but now class fills that slot. . Our complex has a little workout room, and I've gone in there a few times. I'm not a morning person. No matter how great my intentions, the option to sleep while I can always trumps. I tried going during the day and dragging this girls along with me. I loaded up my bag with toys and drinks, and snacks, and even turned the TV to a kid's station, but the girls were always more interested in jumping on the treadmill with me. Then we tried the living room option. Which was great for a while, until my schedule got crowded and I realized I was spending most of my workout time trying to distract the kids. I wasn't being a great mom, and I wasn't giving myself the time I needed either.

Yesterday Ross and I signed up at The Princeton Club. My pants still fit, though they aren't as roomy, my shirts don't look as cute, and most importantly, I don't feel as cute as before. Ross gets a pretty good deal through Epic, so we signed on for 2 years. And I'm really excited about it. The girls get to go play, and I get to focus on me. The kid's place is split into two. They have an area for bigger kids, and a separate room for babies. Claire has been having a blast, and never wants to leave. Unfortunately, Aoife will need some adjusting.

Now come the goals:

Last month I signed up for this race. 

Initially, I thought I would just do it for fun. And it will be fun, but really, I want to do it at an 8 min mile pace.

By the end of summer, I want to do a full unassisted pull up. Just one.

This month, I want to lose five pounds. If I do, I'll reward myself with a new workout shirt. Probably one of these.

And maybe a fro-yo date night. Though sometimes I feel guilty rewarding myself with food.

Today was my first REAL run since moving. And it was fantastic. I like running. And I look smashing in spandex. But really, it went so much better than I anticipated. I was so excited, I called my dad for some running tips to make my goal. And I think he was so excited, he's making me up my own training plan!

I'm excited. I forgot how much I really enjoy working out. And planning my diet. Groupon in Wisconsin is AMAZING. In Utah, I got a ton for food, and random online classes. But here we've gone a little crazy. We did the water park thing, and we also scored some rock climbing passes, and a day of paddle boarding on the lake. It's been fun finding active things to do around here and the weather has even been fantastic the last few days. (Can you tell? I don't sound depressed anymore. It's been a big mood booster.) Summer is going to be awweeeeesoooome.

Date Night Downtown.

With classes at night, Ross and I don't get as much time together. He's been absolutely wonderful and supportive, and the time he gets to spend just him and the girls has been such a blessing. Claire and Aoife have the best Dad in the world, and they only have eyes for him. We don't watch our shows together or play the traditional rounds of Skip-Bo anymore, but that's okay. We've learned to make the most of our time together and to make it REALLY count.

Gratefully, we have a wonderful friend and neighbor who has become an adoptive uncle to the girls. Back in Utah, we were fortunate enough to have a couple of Ross' siblings at school, too. We got together at least once a week and the girls were spoiled with hugs, kisses, and attention. Chris sometimes watches the girls while Ross and I escape for date night. It's been such a blessing.

Last night was date night. Chris came over and swept the girls up and took them on an adventure. They went to McDonald's where he spoiled them with ice cream, and then to the park. Can you think of a better night for a two year old?

While the girls were busy getting spoiled, Ross and I headed for downtown. I donned my new bright dress, and attempted to style my new hair. (Friday I went shopping to find some new clothes to match my new 'do. Lots of bright fun colors, perfect for the warm weather we've been having.)

We decided to stroll down State St, which is a really cool strip that runs from campus to the capitol. There are tons of cool shops, and lots of food. And a lot of popcorn places. Who knew? Anyway, the cool thing about it is the majority of the strip doesn't allow cars. So the whole street is people walking, skateboarding, or biking.

We wee starving, so our first priority was to find food. Which was really more challenging than it seems. I didn't want to decide on something, and then later see something that I would have wanted more. But it would have been stupid to walk the entire thing and then deciding what we really wanted was back at the beginning. You see the problem here?  We walked a good deal of it before deciding on Five Guys. I was in the mood for a fatty greasy burger.And the good news is after the end of our walk, I will still 100% satisfied with our choice. And the potatoes were even from Rexburg.

So we got some delicious burgers and shared some fries that you can now see in my rear. And it was fantastic. After, we poked around in some fun shops, and found a really neat bookstore. I love book shops. I love the smell of old books. And this little hole in the wall shop was right up my alley. It was wall to wall, floor to ceiling crammed with books. The books that couldn't fit on the shelves were sitting in boxes in the walkway. We had to suck it in and squeeze between the shelves to get around. (No thanks to our dinner.) It was fantastic. They had old jaxzy music playing, and the whole atmosphere was wonderful.

We made our way to the University where we found a really cool building. Seriously, what campus has a building that looks like a castle with the big wooden doors called the armory?! So like the tourists we are, we poked around the building for a quick peek before heading back toward the capitol.

As we were walking, we passed a little fro-yo shop. I caught a glance of the menu, which showcased a picture of a treat we used to get when we lived in Germany. We called it Spaghetti Ice. I was so excited I grabbed Ross' arm and drug him inside with me. Turns out, the little shop had only opened the day before. When I ordered, the poor gent said he wasn't sure they could make it because they didn't know how. The gal working with him said she thought maybe she could. She said she would give it a try, and that it might not be pretty, but that it would still taste good. It was awesome.

After our delicious treat, we popped in the Museum of Contemporary Art, where they were showcasing a collection of work by children kindergarten through 12th grade, "Young At Art". It was really cool and there were a lot of impressive pieces.

It was also Prom night. With the crowd of big dresses and hair, I asked Ross if he wanted to go to Prom with me, but he declined. That's ok. We had a great night anyway and it was already 8:30. WAY past my bed time. We headed home, and got caught up on our shows.

I love date nights. And that was one of the most fun ones ever.

Pixie Part 1.

Yesterday I walked into school, and came out about 15 pounds lighter. I suppose I owe an explanation.

This is was me. In fact, this was me less than an hour before I went in to my hair appointment.

 And this was me with hair extensions.

Back to the story. I've been thinking about cutting my hair for a while. I needed something cute and fun. Life has gotten busy. There are a thousand things I want to do in the day, and time is scarce. Doing cosmetology, I HAVE to look good. All the time. The last thing I want to do is spend an hour getting ready for the day. It became a chore, instead of something i enjoyed. And truth be told, I damaged my like crazy. I wanted a style that I wouldn't have to use thermal tools to make it look good.

This weekend I was browsing Pinterest and came across this picture. And my heart stopped for a minute, then it ended up in my throat and pounded like crazy.

And I fell in love. And it was terrifying. I love short hair on other people, but it absolutely was not for me. I am not bold or daring enough. But I will gladly volunteer and encourage just about everyone else while I sit and spectate.

But it kept eating at me. I kept going back to that picture of Emma Watson and then started looking at all of her pixie pictures, other pixie styles, pixie websites, pixie blogs, pixie this, pixie that, and I couldn't stop. Like, it was keeping me up at night I was thinking about it so much.

I interviewed just about everyone I came in contact with about their thoughts on short hair.

Tuesday evening I set up my appointment. I was pretty sure I would end up with a short, choppy bob, but after consulting with a teacher, I was pretty convinced. We even picked out a student to do the cut that would do a great job. I asked Ross to help me pick something out and he ended up finding this picture for me. Very fem and sassy.

Tuesday Night: I didn't sleep. I was almost nauseous I was so nervous. I've never had hair above shoulder length. There were three major worries for me:

1.) Looking butch
2.) Looking fat
3.) Not having the right face for it.

But honestly, it's liberating. I wasn't entirely sure about the new 'do yesterday, I didn't have much time to play with it, but I think I really do love it.  As far as my worries:

1.) I've actually never felt so dainty and girlie in my life. My earrings look awesome without the hair back drop. I think I'm going to go pick out some ultra girly tops to rock with it, I can play with make up now. My face is my new canvas, but we'll talk about that later.
2.) Looking at the pictures, I feel like the cut makes me look about 10 pounds lighter. I feel like a gazelle. Tall and lean.
3.) I have a cute face. Who knew?! I actually love baring my face. My eyes look different, the focus is on my face now, and I'm excited to play with make up.

It's been awesome. I get it wet, and by the time I'm done doing my make up, my hair is dry and done, too! 

We still have some work to do with the color, bur here's where we're at.

I can even add scarves or headbands.

A side view.

The other side view.

The back.

Before and After.

I've gotten a lot of mixed feedback. The most popular response is "Ohhhhh my gosh what did Ross say? What does he think?"

Which kind of bothers me. I don't think I'd consider myself a feminist, but I am all about the independent woman. I don't think there's anything more beautiful than a confident woman with a smile on her face. Gratefully, Ross agrees.  And for the record, he does like it.

I'm still not sure how to wear short hair, but I'll be picking up some new styling tools and get to playing. I think I might trim it up a bit more now that I'm not afraid of the short hair, but I'm loving the new 'do! It's a little punk, a little flirt, and a whole lotta sass!

Hobby Lobby.

This morning we ventured to one of my all time favorite stores. In Provo, we used to go there a lot. And I'd purposely leave my wallet in the car. It's one of those stores where I can easily load up and walk out with everything I didn't need, but my house and children would look adorable.

Lately it's been hard to go anywhere with the girls. Aoife's getting 7 or 8 teeth right now, we like to nap in the mornings, and Claire is two. Enough said. But I was determined. My poor girls have been bowless for so long. Tomorrow we're having a little bow making party and needed to restock my supplies.

Here's how this little adventure went down. When we left, the sun was rising, and it looked like it was going to be a nice day. On days like that, I sometimes let Claire wear her Elmo slippers out of the house. We were going to drop Ross off at work, do a little grocery shopping, and then go to Hobby Lobby.

The rain started to fall as we were leaving the grocery store. By the time we arrived at the prime destination, the ground was one massive puddle. Not thinking, I took Claire out of her car seat and set her on the ground. I might as well have set her in boiling lava.So there I am, a baby in each arm running through the parking lot. One laughing like she's on a roller coaster, the other wailing because her stupid mother didn't think enough to put real shoes on her child.

Claire's been inside Hobby Lobby more than enough times to have my, "do not touch anything" speech memorized. Once Aoife's settled in the cart and we start making our way to the ribbon section, Claire holds out her hands and says loud enough for everyone in the city to hear, "No touch!" Claire gets just as distracted as I do in that store. We wander and meander and make sure we see EVERYTHING on the way to the ribbons. I start handing spools and bags for Claire to toss in the cart, while Claire comments on how cute a particular shade of green is. We make our way down the length of the store, stopping occasionally while Claire sits on a shelf with her Rapunzel doll and tells me to "have fun" like she'll see me later.

While we picked out headbands, I turned for a minute and when I turned back Claire was GONE. I thought she was just around the corner, so I threw some clips in the cart before I started the search party. She wasn't around the corner. In fact, she was GONE. My heart stopped and relocated somewhere in my butt is sunk so low. I ran up and down the aisles like a mad woman saying her name, though not loud enough to start a scene. Then I heard something fall and shatter a few aisles away.

My thoughts went from "Someone took my daughter" to "I really hope that wasn't something that costs $200" I made my way in the direction of the shatter. (Poor Aoife in the cart must have felt like she was on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride) and was glad to see it wasn't my child who had caused the damaged goods, but back to feeling frantic because my toddler was still missing. Then I heard her giggle, and saw her pig tails flying as she ran down another aisle. The stinker was intentionally running and hiding from me.

Aoife and I cut her off, and sent Claire into a squealing/laughing fit. And now I will be investing in a child leash.

Summer Cannot Come Fast Enough Part 2.

I should probably clarify:

1.) I am grateful Ross has a job.

1.5.) Epic has been fabulous.

2.) Wisconsin people are super friendly.

2.5.) The country roads are gorgeous. 

3.) Please forgive my homesick, stir-crazy complainings.

4.) I'm working on the complaining, like I said, this weekend was fabulous. And I am excited for the fun things to do in the summer.

5.) But ask any native Wisconsonian what there is to do in the winter and I promise you, they'll either rave about ice fishing, or be stumped as if you asked them a multi-million dollar trivia question.