The Curse of Pinterest.

There are all kinds of moms out there: moms who stay at home, moms who work, moms who go to school, moms who work from home, moms who also are 'dad'... You get it. And all of them are wonderful.

Once upon a time, being a mother was enough. And then came Facebook. And Pinterest. And all of a sudden being a mom isn't good enough unless your child has had sewn coordinating outfits, cute designs out of nutritious food laid out on a plate for each meal, flawless hair, fluent in five languages (that you, the mother, taught yourself), and exceptional developmental skills. And that's just with ONE child. As for you,you never turn on the TV, the house is spotless, meals are on time and never burnt, you are crafty, you exercise, you have clean cute clothes, you can do anything yourself. You are crafty, creative, kind, smart, patient, an expert in home decor and organizing, the list could go on and on and on. But let's get real here. This is reality for most of us.

On Facebook, I often see long posts that talk about how a mom painted the house, mowed the lawn, tutored all 15 children, has dinner in the oven, grocery shopped, shaved her legs, and worked out. All before 9 AM. And that used to make me feel bad about myself.

I think as women, we tend to judge. Not only that, but we judge ourselves on an extreme level. We nitpick and don't give credit where credit is due. It's hard enough being 'just a mom' in a world where women are encouraged to graduate, have a career, see the world, and enjoy their bodies before starting families. Like this clip:

 To clarify, Mormons are not taught to have as many children as possible. And since when is having children a bad thing?!

And that's a little sad to me. I'm turning 23 this month and have two daughters. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked if they were accidents, why I got married so young and had kids, what I would rather be doing, or if I'm happy with this life.

I am exhausted. I'm tired, Sometimes I get frustrated, but I love families. I wouldn't trade this in for anything in the world. This weekend, Aoife was sick. Outrageously sick, I was covered in vomit. In my hair, my skin, my clothes, carpet, couch, you name it, she hit it. And all Aoife wanted was to cuddle and be held. So I sat there in the middle of the night holding that sweet girl stinky, uncomfortable, and watched Thumbelina. I hate when my kids are sick. I feel so badly for them. But those are the sweetest moments. They cuddle and snuggle and for a few hours, mom is cooler than almost as cool as dad.

There was something circulating called 'Dear Mom on the iPhone". If you haven't seen it, here's the gist:

“Dear Mom on the iPhone…Your little girl is spinning round and round, making her dress twirl. She is such a little beauty queen already, the sun shining behind her long hair. She keeps glancing your way to see if you are watching her.
You aren’t.
Your little boy keeps shouting, ‘Mom, MOM watch this!’ I see you acknowledge him, barely glancing his way.
He sees that too. His shoulders slump, but only for a moment, as he finds the next cool thing to do.”

But here's what you don't know. That little girl spinning around and around has probably been going at 100 miles per hour since 5:30 AM. That little boy shouting MOM, may or may not be shouting MOM all hours of the day. Heaven forbid that mother check her Facebook or look at Instagram for a few minutes. That might be the only social interaction she gets. That mother probably sings the ABC's ten million times a day, reads her child's favorite story over and over, and plays Hide and Seek. What that mother probably doesn't do is take some time for herself.

Of course playing with your children is important. The negative, guilt tripping articles don't encourage good parenting. I honestly believe that parents do their absolute best. Someone's best may not be the same as your best. We need to be supportive and encouraging instead of quickly passing judgement.

When Claire was younger, we were at Costco. We were in line waiting to check out. This was when the sleepless nights were the usual. She was fussing and screaming and I stood there pushing the full cart back and forth trying to entertain her. Amid the glares and stares and the unspoken "Please shut that child up" an old man came up to me, grabbed my arm in a gentle way and told me what a good job I was doing and that I had the greatest job ever. That this was the hardest job on the planet, but that it was the best. I'll never forget that. Imagine what the world could be like if we took the time to give encouraging compliments to complete strangers who so obviously need encouragement. 

For the mother that will only dress her baby in Baby Gap, you are awesome. The mother that can plan preschool lessons with snacks and activities to match the week's theme: You are amazing! The moms who are running on fumes and popping open a Diet Coke before 8 AM: You're doing a great job. Hang in there. Being a mom is hard. With Pinterst teaching us how to 'Clean your house like a PRO!", Cook delicious gourmet healthy meals, and teach our children Latin in 5 days or less, sometimes we get caught up and forget that we are human. More often than not, I have fruit loops ground into my carpet, laundry piled up, and last night's dinner dishes in the sink.

But, if I spent that time scrubbing away, instead of watching Claire's new favorite show with her, I might have missed out on this:

Moms, you are amazing. Whether you work, stay home, go to school, or are doing this solo: I am amazed by all that you do. I am grateful for all of you and the examples you set for me. It is hard. No one can sum this up better than Elder Holland.