Potty Training.

Last week was quite possibly the longest week of my life. And we're doing it all over again this week.

We've been potty training. And I'm pretty sure my children are only alive because of Diet Coke, and my sweet mother in law who will listen to me whine a million times a day without judging me or making me feel like a complete idiot.

When it comes to parenting, I have no idea what I'm doing. I am totally out of my element here, especially in the potty training arena. We cloth diaper. And it's fantastic. And we have two kids in diapers. And we really don't want THREE kiddos in diapers. One night Claire had started to poop and Ross and I decided to stick her on the potty against her will. And she did it. We made the biggest deal out of it and that's what got this train rolling. And I wasn't ready for it. I really don't think there's a "good time" to potty train. There's ALWAYS something going on. Every single week is ridiculously busy, so I just had to go with it.

I thought I had a good plan and went with it for the first two days. Boy oh boy was I wrong. It was frustrating. Everyone was yelling and crying and it was the most frustrating, miserable two days. That second night I really didn't like myself, really didn't like being a mom, and really didn't think I was cut out for this. I started to think Heavenly Father had made a MONDO mistake by making me a mother and putting me in charge of these girls. I had a pretty lengthy chat with Him about all of the reasons why He got it wrong and how I'm REALLY not cut out for this whole Mothering business. I literally felt like I was going INSANE and should be admitted. But I didn't want to give up, because then the two miserable days we had spent destroying our relationship would be for nothing. After I soaked my pillow and stained it with mascara, I had a new idea.

On Day 3 I decided to completely change tactics. The new plan seemed to be working MUCH better. Everyone was happier, I didn't have to spend the entire day in the bathroom (Which was probably contributing to my loss of sanity.), and most of all Claire was happier and she still liked me despite all of the trauma of the previous days.

It's been hard, mostly because with my doctor appointments, I have to put a diaper back on Claire which kind of undoes the work we've been doing. We aren't there yet and we'll be continuing potty training this week, but it's going! Even my little old lady clients keep telling me this WILL end and she WILL get it. I still don't believe it.

Sometimes when Claire is sitting on the toilet, she'll quote random parts of Tangled to herself. Her favorite parts are when she meets Flynn Rider, and when she realizes she's the lost princess. So I'll be in the kitchen cleaning up and I'll hear, "Who are you, and how did you find me?" Or "Did I mumble, Mother? Or should I even call you that?" She cracks me up.

When she's on the potty, I set the timer for five minutes and walk away. Five minutes seems to be a good amount of time for her to try, and it's just worked better if she's in there alone. When she starts going she'll yell for me and say, "I'M DOING IT!!" One time while she was on, she started yelling for me. I came running, thinking it was time for the potty hat and to blow the celebratory horns, but when I walked in, she had unrolled the ENTIRE roll of toilet paper and draped it around herself like a boa. She was so happy and told me about how beautiful she looked and said, "I need more, Mom!" Later, the entire unrolled roll was crammed in the toilet and attempted to be flushed down.

Hopefully not too much longer and it will click with Claire. Until then, we'll just keep watching Christmas shows and chugging Diet Coke. I'm so grateful for the little tender mercies and funny moments of the day that I can laugh at.