Gratitude.

It's something I'm working on. I complain. And whine. A lot. I'm pretty sure I've used up all of my complain vouchers for my lifetime in just the last few months.

Tomorrow is my last day on the paper route. Each day usually on my way home, but sometimes on my drive to the warehouse I see a man on University Avenue in downtown Provo. He's either curled up on a park bench in front of the Health and Justice building, or under the eve of Zion's bank with a tarp of a blanket covering him. He has a shopping cart full of random things right by him, and if you look close enough, you'll notice the only shoes he has is a pair of pink women's 2 in heels. And it just breaks my heart. I think about him often and make a mental note to talk to Ross about him. But I usually forget by the time Ross is awake and I begin all of my morning "chores".

Last night I was treating myself to a hot bath while Ross was reading in the other room and I started thinking about this man. I didn't want to forget to talk to Ross about him, so we had a chat shouting through the door. Ross is probably the kindest person I know. He's never said anything mean or negative about anyone, even if he's had a bad day, and never gossips, or makes jokes at another's expense. It's one of the things I like best about him, and something I need to improve.

Ross suggested I give him a pair of Ross' old shoes and his winter coat when I see him this week. It was something I had been thinking about for a while. I love how in tune Ross is. Thinking about it, I got scared and told Ross how scary it would be to approach an old stranger and possibly wake him up, just because I'm a girl and it'd be dark. Ross just said, "Scary for you, or for him?" Good point.

This morning when I left for the route, it was snowing. SNOWING. And I was tired and achey and it was freezing outside. As I got in the car, I thought about that old man on University Avenue, and just didn't want to complain to myself anymore. I have been so incredibly blessed and have so many things that I really don't NEED. This last year of being married and truly on my own I have learned that having just a little is more than enough. I love it. I have so much to be grateful for that I haven't really even thought of. Instead of thinking about how cute my living room would look if I just had some curtains, I'm thinking about how great it is to own a pair of shoes that fit and are for my gender. I am so grateful for such a wonderful husband who can teach me a little more each day about kindness and gratitude.